Guy Not At OR Starts Funny Blog. Sample follows:
The Guy Not At OR (Outdoor Retailer) has announced a carbon offset program designed to ameliorate the guilt of show attendees and make money for The Guy so he can buy beer and see Avatar in 3-D instead of 2-D.
The program is simple: anyone – individuals or businesses – can send The Guy a check for about ten or twenty bucks depending on level of guilt. The Guy will offset the payee’s carbon by continuing to not go to OR for the rest of Winter Market 2010.
“Since I’m not at OR and won’t be going, the greenhouse gasses I would’ve put into the atmosphere aren’t being produced. I just figure I’ll sell what I didn’t make and reap a little coin.” He added that if someone sent him “like, a hundred bucks or something,” he’d wouldn’t drive to a resort to ski this weekend.
“Travel to, from, and during Outdoor Retailer produces carbon emissions and other greenhouse gases that contribute to global warming,” reads OR’s website. The Guy is simply offering a simple program to make others’ carbon production guilt free.
The program is young – The Guy just thought of it now as he’s Not At OR and kinda bored – but holds options for expansion. “Say you have one of those sales meetings in Europe. I could not go to that, you could pay me, and then you’d be cool with your karma,” says The Guy.
Other areas for expansion of the program include Jaywalking Offsets, Not Using Your Turn Signal Offsets, and Taking Something Out On Your Dog When You Were Really Angry At Yourself Offsets. “Yeah, you know, send me like five bucks after you yell at your dog, and I’ll give mine some extra kibble or something.”
About The Guy (Not At OR): The Guy is based in Nevada City. Which is not in Nevada. Actually, he lives on the San Juan Ridge with a bunch of hippies, rednecks, and creative types. The Guy is a long-time Outdoor Industry Veteran having worked for companies including The North Face, Sierra Designs, and SNEWS. He’s been going to OR for a long time. This is his first Not At OR since the late ’90’s.
Founded in 1964 by his parents, The Guy is a writer. More about The Guy? Click right here.
*Hey – if you actually think this is REAL and send me MONEY, well you deserve…something, I just don’t know what that something is. Nothing good though. THIS IS NOT REAL. Can’t believe I had to say that. Geez.