Reprinted with permission from the Kelty PR files -- "Just when you thought every conceivable variation of an outdoor product had been noodled to death and brought to market, Kelty steps out with its new Teflon-coated 7001 series Nobendium shish kabob skewers! Based on their insanely popular Nobendium tent stakes, Kelty takes the art of the barbecue to new heights!
According to Kelty designer Mike Scherer, Kelty president Casey Sheahan demanded a new and improved skewer after forgetting his tent stakes on a recent camping trip to Wyoming and attempted to use flimsy barbecue skewers to stake down his Kelty Mantra 7 tent. "I realized that there was a real need for this dual purpose product and directed Mike to bring it to market ASAP," said Sheahan. Sheahan’s personal experience with the flaccid skewers was so bad he felt like someone needed to stiffen up the traditional skewer to guarantee optimal insertion into heavily marinated meat, vegetables, and hard-packed soil. Scherer took up the challenge and the result is the most advanced shish kabob skewer on the planet.
The high-tech skewers are manufactured from aerospace grade 7001 series aluminum for ultimate lightweight strength. A precision 5-pointed "asterisk extrusion" was required to keep soggy overcooked vegetables from rotating or falling off the skewer. The final touch was a newly developed anti-microbial composite ceramic/Teflon coating developed for NASA’s international space station (for which the skewers are being considered) which insures easy removal of cooked items and guarantees that Sam and Ella won’t be coming for dinner.
When asked about the new skewers, Kelty’s Director of Sales Brian Bennett said, "Huh? I know our design guys have been living on the razor-thin cutting edge, but this is ridiculous. What’s next, a modular backpack system?" When informed that Kelty had already brought this product to market under the Mystery Ranch label, he referred all future questions to his nutritionist/acupuncturist. This is Boulder, after all.
You can check out the new skewers @ www.kelty.com
Or contact them @ 800-EAT-FISH"
SNEWS® View: Every year, especially around trade show time, SNEWS® receives literally hundreds of press releases full of hyperbole and amazing pitches each seeking to raise its voice above the other with no foundation in reality or logic. Most simply leave us rolling our eyes and wondering why so much paper is being wasted. But awash in the madding pile of PR, Casey Sheahan manages to leave us chuckling every year with a humorous slant that pokes fun at the ridiculous nature of corporate PR fluffery and new product flagellation. So, to that end, we reprinted the above -- with only slight editing -- for your entertainment and pleasure. Oh, and if you are inclined to place an order with Mr. Sheahan, he only accepts cash -- in advance.