Aside from seeing your boss dressed as Spiderman or Catwoman â€“ tights and all -- there are some other very frightening things to name on this traditionally scariest holiday of the year. So, the SNEWSÂ® team put on its thinking caps to come up with a list â€“ top 10 of course -- of things that frighten us more than practically anything else in this world. Be warned, it's not pretty:
10. Armies of suits marching around trade show floors, with the M.O. to find the next great investment hope for some corporation or investment firm that has decided it needs to be in the industry.
9. Caffeine on nearly every ingredient list of everything called sports food â€“ all in the name of "energy." Could it soon become the No. 1 selling food product in outdoor and fitness stores?
8. Yet another product recall after "testing" and "quality control" conducted by consumers who were unlucky enough to buy something that was not properly vetted out in the company R&D labs in the first place.
7. Press releases that get recalled or corrected days or even just hours after the initial send, reminding us that it is scarier to be first with the news and wrong than it is right and best.
6. The knowledge that only 28 percent of youth in grades 9 through 12 actually participate in P.E. and that 42 percent don't play any sports at all. Knowing those statistics are only getting worse.
5. All-too-serious companies and sales folks who tout products and innovations that will save the world. Geez louise, people, this is really just a business of fun and games.
4. A "new" product introduction from a large company that is nothing more than a marginally modified knock-off of a strong-selling idea developed by an entrepreneur who will now see nothing for his or her efforts.
3. Sales people, product developers or company managers that supply equipment to get active or in-shape who are themselves very unfit and sometimes actually overweight. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, would you buy a product to get in shape from you?
2. Endless claims for instant fitness, six-pack abs, or losing fat in 14 or 21 or 30 days, "guaranteed, or your money back." Frankly, if we hear just one more claim like this we're going to snap the next Bowflex rod we see in someone's face.
1. Men publicly displaying their assets (or lack thereof) clad only in a thong. Outdoor clothing supplier Arborwear began all the thong nonsense with a canvas thong one of the company reps proudly flaunted ad nauseum. We still have nightmares from being backed into a trade show wall by a pair of canvas-fringed and naked man-cheeks shaking dangerously nearby. Now, The Onion in its satire has upped the ante displaying Carhartt work thongs â€“ click here to view. Could it be that an all-out man-thong warfare is going to be unleashed? Now that's truly frightening.